Red Sox woes are no match for the misery of the Indians, says columnist Terry Pluto

[stevo]

Red Sox woes are no match for the misery of the Indians, says columnist Terry Pluto
Friday, October 12, 2007

The Indians once had a pitcher named Bob Lacey, whose idea of how to lose weight was to drive to the ballpark with the windows rolled up, the heat on full blast -- in August.

They had another pitcher named Juan Eichelberger who refused to sit next to a window on an airplane. Why? Because he thought he'd catch a cold in his pitching arm.

They had a catcher named Jerry Willard who was told by the trainer to "gargle with salt and lukewarm water" for his sore throat.

A confused Willard asked, "Where do you get lukewarm water?"

He was told politely to try the faucet.

They had an outfielder named Rodney Craig, the players called him "Buckethead," be cause he wore a size-9 batting helmet. They had a pitcher named Ray Searage, and his nickname with some teammates was Raw Sewage.

They also had a manager named Mike Ferraro who was convinced the Indians "have a black cloud hanging over them."

Why did he say that?

Because his team ran off the field with two outs -- the first two outs of the game. Because his third baseman (Toby Harrah) fell off a ladder. His star pitcher (Bert Blyleven) slipped off a roof -- all in the same off-season. Because his pitching coach (Don McMahon) had a heart attack. And Ferraro himself came down with cancer of the kidney.

All of this was in 1983.

Why bring all this up with the Indians opening the American League Championship Series tonight at Fenway Park?

Because the national media will overwhelm us with Boston Red Sox lore, the ball through Bill Buckner's legs and all the other curses. You'd swear no other team ever endured such misery listening to celebrity mourners such as Stephen King, who remind the world how to be a Red Sox fan is to be tormented.

But a little check of history reveals Boston was in the World Series in 1967, in 1975 and in 1986. In 1988 and 1990, they were in the playoffs. During that same approximate time span -- 1960-1994 -- when the Red Sox were in the postseason five times, the Indians never played a significant game in September. They never did anything but run through 18 different managers in 34 years.

They talk about the Curse of the Bambino, we had the Curse of Rocky Colavito. It was the trade of Colavito in the spring of 1960 that set off the 34-year slump. As bad as the Harvey Kuenn-Colavito deal with Detroit was, even worse was trading Tommy John and Tommie Agee to bring Colavito back in 1965. Talk about compounding the felony, John won 286 games after the Indians traded him and Agee played 10 more seasons as a starting outfielder. Colavito spent two years with the Tribe.

At least the Red Sox never traded Ted Williams.

The Indians once had a hitter like Williams, only he swung from the right side. You will see him tonight in a Boston uniform, wearing No. 24 and a pair of baggy pants with room for a family of four in the seat. And just how did these poor, beleaguered Red Sox acquire Manny Ramirez? Was it shrewd scouting, or a savvy trade?

Nope, they just tossed $180 million at him.

Talk about curses, you should have heard Tribe fans after that happened. Boston misery? Just who are they kidding? When it comes to utter despair, Tribe fans have Boston beat -- no matter what happens in these playoffs.

To reach this Plain Dealer columnist:

terrypluto2003@yahoo.com; 216-999-4674

[nino brown]

time to pull out the "major league" dvd.

[stevo]

Suprised they hammered CC so hard.