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Old 01-07-2004, 01:14 AM
beantownjim beantownjim is offline
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Default (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

BOYS LET ME BEGIN BY SAYING I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS I MIGHT BE ENDING MY RETIREMENT YEARS.MY WIFE HAS ALWAYS SAID 41 YEARS OLD WAS TO YOUNG TO RETIRE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I KNEW SHE WAS RIGHT WHEN I SAW ALL MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS GOING OFF TO WORK.I USED TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN 60 YEAR OLD GUYS I PLAY GOLF WITH WOULD ASK ME WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING AND I TOLD THEM I AM RETIRED THEY USED TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I WAS BRAIN DEAD.WELL FELLAS I GOT THE LETTER LAST WEEK TO COME INTO THE MASS BAY TRANSIT AUTHORITY THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM JOB OF MINE.WHEN MY PARENTS USED TO TELL ME THEY WERE SAVING ALL THERE MONEY SO I COULD GO TO NOTRE DAME AND BECOME A DOCTOR I USED TO SAY FORGET ABOUT IT I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER.AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A CONDUCTOR AND WEAR A COOL CONDUCTORS HAT AND SAY (TRAIN LEAVING ON TRACK 4 ALL ABOARD) MOST KIDS WERE PLAYING WITH G.I. JOES I WAS PLAYING WITH MY LIONEL TRAINS.THEN WHEN OTHER KIDS WERE HAVING THERE FIRST WET DREAMS ABOUT BROADS I WAS HAVING WET DREAM S THINKING ABOUT PULLING INTO SOUTH STATION ON A BIG OLD LOCO.WHEN MY FRIENDS USED TO TALK ABOUT GOING OUT AND BANGING HOOKERS I USED TO SAY ILL MEET YOU GUYS LATER I WANT TO TAKE A TRAIN RIDE WHAT THE F-CK[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif[/img]WELL FELLAS HERES THE BAD NEWS I AM GOING IN TO TAKE A TEST ON SATURDAY MORNING HOWEVER ITS NOT FOR MY DREAM JOB BOYS MEET YOUR NEW MASS TRANSIT BUS DRIVER YEH YOU HEARD ME A BUS DRIVER WHAT THE F-CK I MIGHT BE THE ONLY WHITE BUS DRIVER IN THE CITY[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] I FIGURE IF I GET HIRED AS A BUS DRIVER I CAN GET MY FOOT IN THE DOOR AND BECOME A TRAIN DRIVER AND FULLFILL A LIFE LONG DREAM.SO BOYS WISH ME WELL THIS SATURDAY MORNING A BUS DRIVERS TEST WHAT THE F-CK IS HERES A SAMPLE QUESTION.IF BEANTOWNJIM PICKS UP 5 NIGERIANS AT ONE STOP THEN LETS OFF 5 MEXICANS HOW MANY MINORITIES DID BEANTOWNJIM PICK UP.WOW IMAGINE ME BEING THE FIRST WHITE BUS DRIVER IN THE CITY OF BOSTON IN 20 YEARS MAN I JUST HOPE NOBODY GIVES ME ANY SH-T.SO FELLAS WISH ME LUCK THIS SATURDAY AND HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO LIVE A DREAM AND BECOME A TRAIN CONDUCTOR MY WIFE IS SO EXCITED I MIGHT BE GOING TO WORK SHE IS TELLING EVERYBODY MAN I HOPE I PASS THE TEST[img]i/expressions/brokenheart.gif[/img]

BOYS IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA FOR ALL YOU DEADBEATS TO TIP YOUR BUS DRIVERS AT CHRISTMAS TIME AND THERE BIRTHDAYS AFTER ALL BUS DRIVING IS A TOUGH JOB[img]i/expressions/present.gif[/img]IF I GET THE JOB ALL MAJOR WAGER READERS WILL PAY ONE DOLLAR MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE ITS CALLED THE REJECTS FEE AND I WILL BE IMPOSING THIS EXTRA CHARGE.THE FIRST GUY WHO CALLS ME KRAMDEN WILL BE FLAT ON HIS BACK

I CANT BELIEVE MY RETIREMENT ONLY LASTED 3 YEARS AND I AM BACK ON THE JOB (LETS GO YOU F-CKING IDIOTS GET ON THE BUS I NEED A CIGAR BREAK[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-07-2004, 01:23 AM
stevo stevo is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Congrats Jim and Good Luck.

You won't forget about us degenerate deadbeats will you?
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Old 01-07-2004, 01:23 AM
pmj18 pmj18 is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Mr. Kramden or Casey Jones, Good Luck BTJ. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-07-2004, 01:33 AM
pmj18 pmj18 is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Damn, now I can't get the song, by the Grateful Dead out of my head now. Driving that train ..............................................
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Old 01-07-2004, 01:59 AM
beantownjim beantownjim is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

BOYS I HAVENT TAKEN A TEST IN 25 YEARS WHAT THE F-CK IS A BUS DRIVERS TEST AND HOW DO YOU PREPARE.SAMPLE QUESTIONS I AM STUDING RIGHT NOW

BEANTOWNJIM COLLECTS 75 CENTS FOR A BUS RIDE NIGERIAN AXS FOR CHANGE FROM A BUCK I SAY SORRY KID WE DONT CHANGE DOLLAR BILLS HOW MUCH DID BEANTOWNJIM POCKET FOR HIMSELF[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

OLD LADY WANTS ME TO PUT DOWN THE WHEEL CHAIR CART FROM BUS BEANTOWNJIM IS TIRED AND DOESNT WANT TO HELP HER ON (A) DOES HE SAY BUS IS OUT OF ORDER OR (B) SAY KISS OFF GRANDMA A NICE ROLL WILL DO YOU SOME GOOD

2 NIGERIANS ENTER BEANTOWNJIMS BUS ITS LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY ARE BOOMING THERE RADIOS DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) POLITLY ASK THESE FINE NUBIANS TO LOWER THERE MUSIC OR (B) TELL THEM DA POLEECE IS ON DA WAY GET OFF DA BUS

BEANTOWNJIM GETS A FLAT TIRE ITS 5 BELOW ZERO OR 95 DEGREES AND HUMID DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) STOP OFF AT THE NEAREST BAR AND DOWN AN ICE COLD CORONA OR (B) STAY ON THE BUS AND DOWN AN ICE COLD CORONA[img]i/expressions/beer.gif[/img]

BEANTOWNJIM GETS ROBBED AT KNIFE POINT BY LOCAL THUGS DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) FORK OVER HIS WALLET AND BUS OR (B) FIGHT OFF THESE NIGERIANS TO SAVE THE BUS AND HIS WALLET

BEANTOWNJIM WILL BE WORKING WITH A LOT OF BLACK BROADS DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) GO OUT OF HIS WAY TO SCORE HIS FIRST PIECE OF DARK MEAT OR DOES BEANTOWNJIM DO (B) TELL THE BLACK GIRLS I AM A LITTLE LIGHT ON EQUIPMENT I ONLY HAVE 7 INCHES

NIGERIANS WANT TO SMOKE MARY WANNA ON HIS BUS DOES BEANTOWNJIM DO (A) ENCOURAGE THE KIDS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME OR (B) STOP THE BUS AND THROW THEM OFF RISKING DEATH FOR HIS BUS DRIVING JOB THE BUSES WILL RUN TOMORROW IF BEANTOWNJIM MOUTHES OFF HE MIGHT NOT BE

OLD LADY WANTS TO GET OFF THE BUS BUT PUSHES THE BUTTON LATE DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) TELL HER TO LATE GRANDMA GET OUT AND WALK OR (B) BE KIND AND MAKE A SPECIAL STOP FOR GRANDMA

IF BEANTOWNJIM PICKS UP SOME DRIFTER WHO HE THINKS IS A FAG AND ASK'S BEANTOWNJIM TO TAKE HIM TO THE LAST STOP AND TALK DOES BEANTOWNJIM (A) PUNCH THE FAG IN THE FACE AND RISK LOSING HIS JOB OR (B) PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE AND THROW HIM OFF HIS BUS AND SAY HE NEVER WAS ON MY BUS AND IS FULL OF SH-T

BOYS I HAVE SAID FOR YEARS ONLY WEIRDOS TAKE BUSES SO I EXPECT TO SEE SOME CRAZY THINGS I JUST HOPE I DONT LOSE MY TEMPER IF I DO IN FACT GET THE JOB.ANY ADVICE BOYS WILL BE HELPFULL AS I TRY AND PASS THIS TEST
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Old 01-07-2004, 02:03 AM
JohnnyDeMarco JohnnyDeMarco is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Beaner
brush up on your graffiti
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Old 01-07-2004, 02:13 AM
TTinCO TTinCO is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Now that we know that BTJ is a Corona drinker, this whole "Peter thing" is starting to make more and more sense.......
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Old 01-07-2004, 02:47 AM
nehpets nehpets is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

still got it
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Old 01-07-2004, 03:15 AM
Bostongambler Bostongambler is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

BTJ I thought you were the caboose at the local gay bar when they do a train....
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Old 01-07-2004, 05:12 AM
Buck Swope Buck Swope is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

BTJ,

You better hope to get a 100 on the MBTA exam or else the Ethiopian who scored a 36 or his wife who scored a 25 will be the one cruising those Green line trolleys down Beacon Street at a cool 70MPH.
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Old 01-07-2004, 07:58 AM
AngryBlackMan AngryBlackMan is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

BEANTOWNHONKY GOOD TO SEE YOUR WORKMANS COMP PAYMENTS AFTER 3 YEARS ARE OVER. RETIRED MY ASS. SO YOU WENT TO JOB RETRAINING TO BE A BUS DRIVER? BUS DRIVING IS NOT FOR YOU. MOVE OUT HER TO THE WEST COAST AND I WILL SET YOU UP WIT YOUR OWN STREET CORNER TO SELL CRACK AND MARY WANNA. YOU CAN EASILY MAKE 500 BUCKS A DAY. IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH I CAN SET YOUR LOVELY WIFE WIT HER OWN CORNER TOO. BROTHERS AND MEXICANS WILL DO ANYTHING WHITE NO MATTER WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. IF SHE DOES TEN BROTHERS A DAY, THAT WILL BE AN EXTRA 50 BUCKS FOR YOU . BEANER YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WIT BEING THE ONLY WHITE BUS DRIVER IN BOSTON. YOU CAN BECOME FAMOUS AND BECOME THE ONLY WHITE DRUG DEALER IN DA HOOD. THE BROTHERS WILL LOVE YOU JIM. JIM,THATS A FAG NAME. LIKE JIM NABORS. THE GAY GOMER PYLE. WE HAVE TO GET YOU A NAME LIKE A BROTHER. IM THINKING ABOUT TYRONE. TYRONE JIM, DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH HAIR TO GET SOME CORN ROWS? THINK ABOUT IT TYRONE JIM.ONCE ALL THE SISTERS KNOW YOU HAVE DRUGS AND MONEY YOU CAN BANG ALL THE BLACK P-SSY YOU WANT.TYRONE JIM,IKNOW YOU WATCH SOUL TRAIN AND LUST OVER THE SISTERS.MAKE IT REAL AND COME TO DA HOOD.DONT SAY I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR YOUR WHITE ASS.
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Old 01-07-2004, 09:32 AM
beantownjim beantownjim is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

ANGRYBLACKMAN I HAVE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF NAMES IN THIS FORUM BUT YOU HAVE JUST COME UP WITH A FIRST (TYRONE JIM) JESUS CHRIST WHAT WOULD THE BOYS AT THE IRISH SOCIAL CLUB SAY IF I SHOWED UP AND INTRODUCED MYSELF AS TYRONE JIM I THINK JOHNNY KNOCKDOWN WOULD HAVE ME ON THE FLOOR WITHIN 5 SECONDS WE HAVE A STRICT POLICY AT THE CLUB (NO NIGERIANS) UNLESS THEY ARE ON THE CLEAN UP CREW AND THEN THEY COME IN AFTER HOURS[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] THERES ACTUALLY A LOT OF NUBIANS WITH THE NAME JIM BUT THEY LIKE TO BE CALLED JAMES FOR SOME REASON ALL THE BLACK DUDES I HAVE EVER MET WITH THE NAME JIM SAY I AM JAMES LIKE THEY ARE BIG SHOTS OR SOMETHING.MY WIFE ACTS LIKE I AM APPLYING FOR THE EXECUTIVE JOB AT JOHNSON + JOHNSON SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I AM WEARING TO THE JOB TESTING WHAT THE F-CK HONEY I CANT WEAR A SUIT AND TIE I AM A BUS DRIVER REMEMBER.BOYS WHAT SHOULD I WEAR I WAS THINKING OF BEING A REGULAR GUY LIKE I ALWAYS AM BLUE JEANS AND A PLAID SHIRT I DONT WANT TO GET ALL DRESSED UP AND LOOK LIKE A PHONY ANY OPINIONS BOYS.I BETTER GET THE JOB JUST LAST NIGHT I HEARD MY WIFE TELLING HER MOTHER IN AN ALL PROUD VOICE HER HUSBAND IS GOING TO WORK CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THE MOTHER IN LAW WILL SAY IF I FAIL THE TEST (JESUS DEAR YOU MIGHT HAVE MARRIED THE DUMBEST WHITE GUY IN THE COUNTRY I TOLD YOU TO MARRY JOHN MURPHY DOWN THE STREET HE HAS HIS OWN PLUMBING BUSINESS YOUR HUSBAND CANT EVEN PASS A 2ND GRADE TEST THIS IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR MY LOVELY DAUGHTER) BOYS I HAVE BEEN DOWN TO MY LAST C-NOTE NUMEROUS TIMES AND HAVE FELT PRESSURE BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO ME TAKING THIS TEST ON SATURDAY MORNING MY BIG MOUTH WIFE IS TELLING EVERYBODY ABOUT THE JOB ALL HER FRIENDS CALL THE HOUSE AND ARE WISHING ME LUCK JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE ACTING LIKE I AM DEVELOPING A CURE FOR CANCER WITH ALL THIS ATTENTION LISTEN FOLKS ITS A BUS DRIVERS TEST AND THAT IS IT GET OFF MY ARSE[img]i/expressions/moon.gif[/img] MAN I HAVENT BEEN UNDER THIS MUCH PRESSURE SINCE MY CAR BROKE DOWN AND SOME FAG ASKED ME IF I WANTED A RIDE I SAID NOWAY PAL I WOULD RATHER WALK THE 40 MILES THANK GOD A TOW DRIVER SHOWED UP AND GAVE ME A LIFT THAT WAS PRESSURE IT HAPPENED ON CAPE COD I KNEW THE GUY WAS QUEER NEVER TAKE RIDES FROM STRANGERS BOYS [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img]

BOYS DONT FORGET TO TIP YOUR BUS DRIVERS WE ARE ONLY TRYING TO MAKE AN HONEST LIVING[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-07-2004, 11:23 AM
bob sparks bob sparks is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

hey richard head you talked alot of smack about how you was going to
AT LEAST beat me in the badman contest...LMFAO
I whipped your ass and did not even play at the end.
[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 01-07-2004, 01:58 PM
stevo stevo is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Great job Bob. Who's next?

I hear you are setting up a Special Ed kid for a spelling bee.

KICK HIS ASS BOB!
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Old 01-07-2004, 07:23 PM
PATTON PATTON is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

Quote:
WHEN OTHER KIDS WERE HAVING THERE FIRST WET DREAMS ABOUT BROADS I WAS HAVING WET DREAM S THINKING ABOUT PULLING INTO SOUTH STATION ON A BIG OLD LOCO.
Sigmund Freud would have a field day with this, Jim.

Good luck on the test.

BTW,

Does BTJ=ABM=JJG=????
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Old 01-26-2004, 06:58 PM
beantownjim beantownjim is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

WELL BOYS YOU ARE LOOKING AT YOUR NEW PART TIME BUS DRIVER FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY TRANSIT AUTHORITY I PASSED THE TEST NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS CLEAR UP MY DRIVING RECORD AND I WILL BE TRANSPORTING PASSENGERS FROM ONE PART OF THE CITY TO THE NEXT.JESUS CHRIST I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE A BUS DRIVER BUT WHAT THE F-CK IT SURE BEATS HANGING OFF BUILDINGS 40 STORIES HIGH HANGING STEEL.BOYS I AM COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT I NEED SOME GAMBLING MONEY AND MY WIFE IS SICK OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE HOW COME YOUR HUSBAND DOESNT WORK HE IS VERY YOUNG TO BE RETIRED.MY MOTHER IS VERY DISAPPOINTED ALL THE MONEY SHE WAS SAVING SO HER ONLY SON COULD GO ON TO HARVARD AND BECOME A DOCTOR AND WHAT DOES HE DO HE BECOMES THE ONLY WHITE GUY DRIVING A BUS IN THE CITY OF BOSTON. SO BOYS WELCOME TO THE MBTA AND IF YOU DEADBEATS ARE EVER IN BOSTON DONT HESITATE TO RIDE ON MY BUS OF COURSE IT WILL COST YOU A LITTLE EXTRA THE PRICE IS 90 CENTS BUT FOR MAJOR WAGER MEMBERS THE FEE WILL BE 2.50 CENTS AFTER ALL SOMEBODY I KNOW MIGHT SEE ME HANGING AROUND WITH YOU DEGENERATE LOSERS.SO BOYS I WILL BE RUNNING MY BOOKING OPERATION FROM THE MASS BAY TRANSIT AUTHORITY I HEARD THERE ARE SOME BIG GAMBLERS WORKING FOR THE (T) AND I GET 20% OF THERE LOSSES WOW THIS JOB OUTH TO BE SOME FUN.SO FELLAS I WILL NO LONGER BE RETIRED AND I DONT WANT TO HEAR ONE PERSON IN THIS FORUM CALL ME RALPH KRAMDEN.BOYS IT LOOKS LIKE I WILL BE WORKING 5 HOURS A DAY TO START SO I WONT BE IN THE FORUM AS MUCH JESUS CHRIST I HOPE I CAN CARRY AND READ MY PAGER FOR SCORES WHILE I AM DRIVING[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

BOYS BEING A BUS DRIVER ISNT AN EASY JOB SO DONT HESITATE AT CHRISTMAS TIME TO DUKE YOUR DRIVER A C-NOTE OR SO ITS THE POLITE THING TO DO[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif[/img]
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Old 01-26-2004, 07:23 PM
nfleqbc nfleqbc is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

When I was very young and lived in Newton Center, I used to go down to the Green Line station and watch the trolleys do their stuff. Other kids wanted to be firefighters or cops but not me. My life's ambition was to be a trolley driver on the Green Line.
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Old 01-26-2004, 07:33 PM
Altice Altice is offline
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Default RE:(I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

If your New Years resolution was to be funnier this year than the previous 3 months, you have far surrpassed expectations. This is too much even for me. [img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 01-26-2004, 08:19 PM
Bostongambler Bostongambler is offline
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Default RE: (I WANT TO BE A TRAIN DRIVER)

nfleqbc---- Riverside...

What route do you have Jim I will pass you in my Benz and throw eggs at you....
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