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Old 05-16-2003, 12:00 AM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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Default Dell Dude putting himself on the 10-day disabled list, to be used to get his mind and body back in shape
I just weighed myself. Two hundred and eight phucking pounds.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif[/img] I wear boxer underwear and they are still so tight on me they're tearing. When I'm forced to put on pants, I can't even zip it up all the way. I hide it by wearing long shirts. And on top of all that I'm starting to get gray hair.

This bullshit has got to end. How am I going to win anything when I am in this kind of shape? That's it. I've decided to log out of all my gambling forums, erase all sportsbook links from my "favorite" places, then erase all my cookies and go back to the minors for a 10-day workout assignment.

After the ten we'll see where I'm at. Hopefully, I will be under 190 at least. In addition, I'm going to try the goatee thing again. It stays on until Level THREE is achieved.

I'm going nowhere fast. This can't continue like this. I'm losing and I'm losing fat, stupid and ugly. I can at least remove "fat" from the equation.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif[/img]

At midnight, it begins. I'll see you guys May 26th.
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Old 05-16-2003, 12:01 AM
FENWAY FENWAY is offline
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Better talk to Easton and get on his plan
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Old 05-16-2003, 12:14 AM
jag jag is offline
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i generally stay out of these 'free theatre' threads; but, you are making a big mistake in not playing the preakness... the tri will be a signer...
gl, -jim
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Old 05-16-2003, 12:17 AM
World Runner World Runner is offline
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*sigh*

Why do people go on crash diets.

Dell Dude, you're obviously either VERY depressed...or you make these posts for entertainment. Either way, you should seek help. THEN come back..THEN go on a REAL diet.
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:22 AM
doddster98 doddster98 is offline
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<< In addition, I'm going to try the goatee thing again. It stays on until Level THREE is achieved. >>



I also recommend a Mullet. It would go great with your goat.

Cheers,

Dodd
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Old 05-16-2003, 12:25 PM
IllinoisSports IllinoisSports is offline
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Do us a favor. Dont ever eat again.
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Old 05-16-2003, 04:40 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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Belay that trip to the minors one more day! I just got my NEW and IMPROVED Bank One debit card. Improved because they tripled my daily limit to $3000. I'm registering this baby with PPATM and going with another overdraft parlay!

LET'S GET SUICIDE JIGGY WITTIT!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-16-2003, 04:59 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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Busted again.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif[/img] PPATM is not currently taking deposits by debit card. I can't do this unless I can cover the pending E-Check first. I hope the bus to the minors didn't leave without me.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:36 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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I have one option left, but it would be one of the most outrageous, boldest things I've ever done. I could try an overdraft suicide ATM $150 cash advance slash $100 Bank One cash deposit slash $50 Western Union Carib deposit five team parlay slash $202 PPATM payout slash $200 PPATM withdrawal slash $200 Bank One cash deposit.

Needless to say, if I ran the table on all that it would be quite a way to debut my new debit card.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:52 PM
Superfly Superfly is offline
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I think it's a good idea. As a matter of fact, I think everyone should overdraw their account through the ATM, to pay off their degenerate overdraft from prior days, so they can manipulate the banking system, commit multiple felonies and further overdraw their account to send money to a sportsbook to play another longshot parlay. And if they owe everyone they know money, have no means or intention of paying it back, and are psychotic and delusional, that's even better. I'm amazed no one's thought of it before.
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Old 05-16-2003, 07:44 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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I made my decision. Drum roll please.....

Bowmans $50 suicide debit card parlay

I can't do PPATM because I can't make a deposit. That takes out Carib and Canbet. Can't do NETeller because I voluntarily locked myself out of my account by giving my password to someone. That takes out Olympic. I can't do a debit deposit to places where I'd have to charge back previous debits because it wouldn't go through and I don't want a delay. That would just increase the chances I bust. That takes out Pinnacle and 365.

The only sportsbook left is Bowmans. This is gonna cost me yet another $28 overdraft fee, bringing the total fees to $81. When you add that to the two deposits, I'm gonna need about $230 to break even. Not gonna be a problem.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif[/img] And if I lose? I'm confident MARVIN will cover for me.[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]

As I said before:

LET'S GET SUICIDE JIGGY WITTIT!!!!!!
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Old 05-16-2003, 08:03 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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Bingo!


Current Balance $39.26
Available Balance $-148.99


I'm dropping down to a three teamer this one time. I have to at least put some points on the board. I'll take out $250 and keep $100. $250 pays EVERYTHING! Stay tuned for the picks......
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Old 05-16-2003, 08:13 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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Pistons (+7.5)
Mariners (-1.5) -135
UNDER 4 +105 Wild/Ducks

$340 payout

Parlay Theme Song: "Like a Virgin", by Madonna[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif[/img]
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:25 PM
jjgold jjgold is offline
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Good Luck Dell and go look at Eastons threads about weight loss and diets, he is very well read in this area and knows his stuff.
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:27 PM
Axelp Axelp is offline
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This is like watching a train wreck over and over again.
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:33 PM
Total Square Total Square is offline
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axel,
in slow motion, no less
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:33 PM
Altice Altice is offline
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Dell Dude

In the words of John McEnroe.

You cannot be serious!!!!!!
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Old 05-16-2003, 09:49 PM
Dell Dude Dell Dude is offline
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<< This is like watching a train wreck over and over again. >>



I could easily have a $250 payout plus a $1000 bankroll by this time tomorrow. I'm at my best when I'm at my worst. My prediction (you could say I'm calling it early[img]i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif[/img]) is that the next time I reach Level One I reach Level Two......
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Old 05-16-2003, 10:20 PM
lurkerforages lurkerforages is offline
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Is it me or has anybody noticed that some of Dell Dudes plays are pretty sharp.
i am not saying he is sharp just some of his plays are on the right side.
I bet he goes down 2-1 with these picks.
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