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Old 05-03-2001, 01:38 PM
Cartman88 Cartman88 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 30
Default Baked Beans

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for Baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and some what lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, she thought to herself, "He is so sweet, and such a gentleman, he would never go for this carrying on". So she made the supreme sacrifice, and in the end she gave up the beans.

Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way home she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt putted.

Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blind folded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blind fold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise that she would not remove the blind fold until he returned.

She promised and he went to answer the phone. The baked beans were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room, she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for a good ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands on it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she had peeked and she assured him that she had not.

At this point he removed the blind fold and she was surprised.

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday" !!!!!!

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Old 05-05-2001, 02:23 AM
el tiburon el tiburon is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,014

Good one Cartman88!
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