JOKE

[DEMON 2]

There are three men, one an ITALIAN,
a GERMAN and a FRENCH man.
They were at a bar and the ITALIAN, talks about a bar back home in ITALY called GUIDOS. He says I love GUIDOS, At GUIDOS you buy one, he pays for two, you buy another he pays for two and so on. The GERMAN guy says ah thats nothing, There's a bar back home in GERMANY called MEISTER, at MEISTER'S he gives you three free for every drink that you buy. The FRENCH man says , you guys dont know nothing. Back home theres a bar called BON, at BON'S he gives you the first one, the second, third, forth, fifth, sixth, and so on for free. But theres a CATCH, after you have your drinks, you have to go into this back room. By this time the ITALIAN AND GERMAN men are so confused as to how anyone can do this and make any money. So they ask the FRENCHMEN , how can this be ? What goes on in this back room ? The FRENCHMAN says I don't know, you will have to ask my sister.

[Demon]

Have we become so unimaginative in creating usernames that someone has decided to become my sequel?

[teddy45]

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks,
"Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"
~~~~~~~
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

[teddy45]

It's just math:
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung his head out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:
I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's 76 miles. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.
In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's
449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's
98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.